Tuesday, May 15, 2012
For a little while I sat and thought about the title for this blog. The first thing that came to my mind was "Closure". Mainly because the whole point of this entry was to bare my heart to the public and try to put something behind me..get some sort of focus back into my life.
The thing I'm talking about is the recent death of my step-dad.
But "Closure" didn't feel right to me. Words can mean different things for different people and I look at closure as the complete end of something. I don't want to cut this man out of my memory. I thought about calling it "Death". Simple...elegant even. But the weight of the word felt wrong..because the sum of a man is more than just his death, it's also how he lived his life. And my step-dad, who we all called "D.W", lived his well.
He never had a negative word to say to me, and always encouraged everything I did. He was usually a quiet man...till he had a couple of drinks in him, then he was the life of the party. He was one of the hardest working people I knew. He would be up till the wee hours of the morning hanging out, talking, drinking, then pass out for a couple of hours...only to wake up sand head to work so fresh you would think he had hibernated for a month. This became his normal routine, and while I wished I had maybe took that extra beer away from him every now and again, he enjoyed his life...only for it to be snatched. And for a sec there it felt as though things were supposed to stop.
And that's why I named this journal "Moving Forward". I don't want to change directions. I don't want to come to complete stop. I don't want to go backwards. I want to enjoy what little time God has blessed me with, and carry the memory of this man with me. To make me stronger..to allow me to resist temptation..to make me want to try harder. Whatever it is I realize life doesn't stop..so neither can I.
Thanks to everyone who has sent a well-wish my families way, to everyone who took the time to go beyond the internet and personally call, to everyone who continues to support my art, and to everyone who's been patient with me as they waited for me to finish their artwork. I will strive to come back to the art table with a vengeance. I hope you all enjoy whatever time you have in your own way.